The courtship and marriage go through different stages where the most beautiful one is always the one of falling in love. Everything is perfect and there are no fights.
But it is as time goes by that conflicts begin and everything comes to an end. It is then that the question arises as to what went wrong or why relationships die.
According to Terri Orbuch, a clinical psychologist at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research, when you think that a relationship should be a certain way, but it's not on a day-to-day basis, a great deal of frustration begins to be generated that ends up destroying the couple.
Love involves hard work
When communication begins to fracture, other issues that were less obvious begin to become real problems. Here are some things that can kill any relationship.
1. Criticism
After many years of studies, John Gottman, a psychologist and professor at the University of Washington, points out that although we all have defects, when criticism is repeated, it affects a person's self-esteem, which will make him or her no longer want a partner.
2. Contempt
Gottman says that when a person acts out sarcasm, insults or a bad look at his or her partner, it makes him or her feel useless, even affecting their health; no one wants a relationship like this, which is why divorce is even possible.
3. Defensive attitude
A person presents this behavior in a natural way in life, but within a couple's relationship it usually increases when one of the two parties tries to justify their failures or "slips." If it becomes a persistent theme, it may indicate the end.
4. Obstruct
Beyond a miscommunication, the psychologist says, there is a moment when a "barrier" rises metaphorically, there is no sign of interest or effort to connect again, and the disappointment of those who still want to continue becomes deep.
5. Lack of sex
Tina B. Tessina, family therapist and author of the book "How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free," explains that intimacy with a partner is essential for keeping them together, although it is often overlooked because of the fatigue of daily activities.
Even if you don't feel playful or resentful, do it. An orgasm makes the mind and body feel good. Sex is different after a long time together, but you must learn how to make it easy to get there.
6. Neglect to take care of yourself
While as time goes by, love becomes deeper and the outside is less important, it is good for the relationship that you continue to seek to attract each other. Putting in a little effort to look the way they like themselves is something that will make a difference.
7. Forget about all the details
The everyday signs of affection are those that keep intimacy and romance alive, but many couples forget to show them what wears down the relationship.
Tessina says it doesn't require expensive gifts, a kiss to say thank you when your partner does something for you is more than a nice touch.
The best way to keep relationships from dying is to foster good communication and to remember (and say) to yourself day by day the reasons why you fell in love. People change, but that doesn't have to be a bad factor.
