A study by the University of Toronto confirms that we are looking for partners with the same personality type.
Sometimes it happens that in the face of a separation we swear not to repeat "the same mistake". Look for someone who is very different, perhaps the opposite of what bothered us: if stingy, someone more generous; if bad-tempered, someone happy. But do we succeed? Do opposites also have something in common?
According to a study recently published in the scientific journal PNAS and carried out by researchers at the University of Toronto, we tend to look for couples with similar personalities.
Does that answer a strategic (unconscious) question? The report's lead author, Yoobin Park, makes the following hypothesis: "In every relationship, people learn strategies for working with their partner's personality. If your new partner's personality resembles that of your former partner, transferring the skills you learned could be an effective way to start a new relationship.
We usually stumble upon the same stone in matters of love. If at first we get our hopes up thinking that "this time it's different", "we have transcended the hateful personality of an ex", and we see everything rosy... life is in charge of showing us a crude reality: there are fundamental affective choices that don't change.
There are types of bonds that are repeated, for example, the typical union between an obsessive (someone excessively formal, with closed thoughts and a schematic way of organizing life) and another that always yields. Or the union between an introverted person, who finds it difficult to go out into the world, with a hyper sociable, outgoing and friendly couple. Maybe the behaviors of the other (that work as a balance, "what I don't have"), what I love at first, ends up annoying me. And although I refuse to want what I did wrong, I fall into the same trap, because deep down "I always like extroverts".
Read Also: 9 Things Someone Can Do If They Keep Ending Up With The Wrong Person
For the study, scientists Park and MacDonald compared the personalities of current and former partners of 332 people using data collected by couples. Their main finding was the existence of significant consistency in the personalities of a person's romantic choices.
The data was collected in Germany for nine years and was based on statements such as: I am usually modest and reserved; I get excited easily and can motivate others easily; I tend to be the strong, silent type; I am extroverted; I am relaxed and don't worry about stress; I am intellectual and like to contemplate things; I appreciate artistic and aesthetic impressions.
Based on the findings, Park suggests that websites and dating applications might do a better job of finding potential partners. These services usually combine individuals using criteria such as education, alcohol and tobacco use habits, income, hobbies, and activities.
"These websites and applications may want to incorporate information about former partners into their algorithms in the same way that music applications use previous listening preferences to predict what else a listener might enjoy," he says.
Sometimes it happens that in the face of a separation we swear not to repeat "the same mistake". Look for someone who is very different, perhaps the opposite of what bothered us: if stingy, someone more generous; if bad-tempered, someone happy. But do we succeed? Do opposites also have something in common?
According to a study recently published in the scientific journal PNAS and carried out by researchers at the University of Toronto, we tend to look for couples with similar personalities.
Does that answer a strategic (unconscious) question? The report's lead author, Yoobin Park, makes the following hypothesis: "In every relationship, people learn strategies for working with their partner's personality. If your new partner's personality resembles that of your former partner, transferring the skills you learned could be an effective way to start a new relationship.
Always the same stone
We usually stumble upon the same stone in matters of love. If at first we get our hopes up thinking that "this time it's different", "we have transcended the hateful personality of an ex", and we see everything rosy... life is in charge of showing us a crude reality: there are fundamental affective choices that don't change.
There are types of bonds that are repeated, for example, the typical union between an obsessive (someone excessively formal, with closed thoughts and a schematic way of organizing life) and another that always yields. Or the union between an introverted person, who finds it difficult to go out into the world, with a hyper sociable, outgoing and friendly couple. Maybe the behaviors of the other (that work as a balance, "what I don't have"), what I love at first, ends up annoying me. And although I refuse to want what I did wrong, I fall into the same trap, because deep down "I always like extroverts".
Read Also: 9 Things Someone Can Do If They Keep Ending Up With The Wrong Person
Conclusions of the study
For the study, scientists Park and MacDonald compared the personalities of current and former partners of 332 people using data collected by couples. Their main finding was the existence of significant consistency in the personalities of a person's romantic choices.
The data was collected in Germany for nine years and was based on statements such as: I am usually modest and reserved; I get excited easily and can motivate others easily; I tend to be the strong, silent type; I am extroverted; I am relaxed and don't worry about stress; I am intellectual and like to contemplate things; I appreciate artistic and aesthetic impressions.
Based on the findings, Park suggests that websites and dating applications might do a better job of finding potential partners. These services usually combine individuals using criteria such as education, alcohol and tobacco use habits, income, hobbies, and activities.
"These websites and applications may want to incorporate information about former partners into their algorithms in the same way that music applications use previous listening preferences to predict what else a listener might enjoy," he says.
