Is it difficult for you to be happy again after the divorce? Do you think you will never have a partner again? Do you feel unsuccessful, insecure, afraid?
When the relationship ends, one of the first things that comes to mind is, "Can I be happy again?" What can I do to be happy after the breakup? ....And the truth is that you start a new trip and you have to fill your suitcase with what will really help you reach your destination, traveling that trip with confidence, courage, and firmness.
The high energy in our bodies is vital to living with enthusiasm and motivation.
You are embarking on a new journey, so change your station. You're going to a different destination with new luggage, so drop the old suitcase and focus on your new destination.
When the relationship ends, one of the first things that comes to mind is, "Can I be happy again?" What can I do to be happy after the breakup? ....And the truth is that you start a new trip and you have to fill your suitcase with what will really help you reach your destination, traveling that trip with confidence, courage, and firmness.
It is not the end of the world and neither are you the worst woman, because it is better to leave, to continue by the side of a man who does not value you, with whom you no longer understand yourself, and to stay alone so as not to feel that you are letting your children down or keeping up appearances. It is time to be happy.
Consider divorce to be a liberating experience from everything that hurts you, that prevents you from progressing, and that only suffocates you between four walls that have stopped being a home, to become a battlefield. It is better to be happy each one by his side.
Many times, women who are unhappy in their married life do not say anything and much less make an attempt to free themselves from those chains, either for fear of being alone, because they think they are nothing without their husband's money, or because they do not want to break that family.
But you can't just stand there and watch your life go by without feeling happy and just being there out of obligation. It's time to take your life back. If you decide to get a divorce, take it as another opportunity that the universe gives you to get back together and find your true place in the world.
Separating yourself from your former husband, who will remain the father of your children forever and whom you once saw as the love of your life, is not easy. Firstly, congratulations on your decision to leave the place where you are not happy, but take the time to go through that kind of grieving process.
Don't worry about "what am I going to do on my own now". You have incredible skills. You will know how to get ahead. Become your priority. You will surely find a way to get through life. Fortunately, you have yourself.
If you're already divorced, you don't have to get involved if you start a new relationship or whatever you decide to do with your life. As long as it doesn't harm your children, both you and your children can choose the path that suits them best.
Take your time to accept it
Separating yourself from your former husband, who will remain the father of your children forever and whom you once saw as the love of your life, is not easy. Firstly, congratulations on your decision to leave the place where you are not happy, but take the time to go through that kind of grieving process.
Get used to it and start making it your priority
Don't worry about "what am I going to do on my own now". You have incredible skills. You will know how to get ahead. Become your priority. You will surely find a way to get through life. Fortunately, you have yourself.
Start projects that fill you up or get you excited
It's never too late to start a career or put that business you've always wanted to start into action, becoming more productive.
Your children are ahead of you
If you have children with your ex, you should know that they will always be the important thing for both of you or at least for you, so you should not wear yourself out filling their souls with negative things about their father. They will realize things themselves.
Live and let live
If you're already divorced, you don't have to get involved if you start a new relationship or whatever you decide to do with your life. As long as it doesn't harm your children, both you and your children can choose the path that suits them best.
Boost your energy
The high energy in our bodies is vital to living with enthusiasm and motivation.
A breakup means embarking on a new journey, on which we will need many things. But the most important thing, at least what I believe and have experienced, is energy. Because without it, it is impossible to advance on this new path that life puts before us.
Energy is our petrol. It drives us, it sets us in motion.
There are many ways to "activate" that energy.
The one thing that has worked for me is exercise. For many years, I have been teaching fitness and Pilates classes, and without a doubt, I feel that it is a key, super important, piece in life and more so in difficult situations when it comes to successfully facing them.
Move your body, move your energy, not only physical but also mental. And the energy of movement, of exercise, unblocks emotions, increases your creativity, brings you clarity, the benefits are numerous.
We produce endorphins, which aid in our well-being by providing an immediate sense of well-being.
I'm going to tell you as a sports professional for many years, but I've also lived through two break-ups, and I can speak from my own experience of the innumerable benefits of physical exercise and the changes it causes when facing a difficult life situation such as a break-up.
So I am absolutely convinced that putting your body in motion, going for a run, doing Pilates, dancing, or any other activity that moves your energy, I think, is a different factor. I understand that at the beginning you are off, without desire, blocked... but a small effort at the beginning, starting a sports activity, simple, within your reach, that does not take too much time, will change your emotional state.
All of our energy is expended during a divorce; we are remembering, focusing on our ex, the circumstances that led to the breakup, the memories, the problems we face... and we empty ourselves. All our energy is gone. It's up to you to give yourself an "energy shot", to get that energy back to you, to fill your tank. And a little exercise every day will give you that boost of energy you need.
From there, the problems are seen differently, and you have more mental clarity. Besides the physical and emotional well-being that it brings you immediately.
At that point, you dedicate yourself, connect with your body, and become one with yourself. Your focus is on your being, on your energy.
Change of station
You are embarking on a new journey, so change your station. You're going to a different destination with new luggage, so drop the old suitcase and focus on your new destination.
Associate your memories with everything you've learned. Changing your viewpoint to the positive helps you.
We can't erase memories. In fact, they are part of our personal history.
But we can be aware of what they bring to us and decide what importance we give them now in our present moment.
Perhaps we become obsessed with forgiveness and the more we try, the worse it gets, because in this way, we trap painful memories in our minds.
Because both the struggle and the resistance are to make "everything remain with more intensity."
Perhaps if we stopped resisting, trying to forget, to evade, to fight against the past... we would do better.
This doesn't mean that you get stuck in memories, that you gloat, that you give them more and more shape and intensity, but that you observe them... accept them, even put a friendly smile on them, and let them go. Visualize how they come and how they go. Surely another thought will soon come to you.
But getting caught up in remembering... does not help you move forward, in what are, after all, thoughts of the past. It is meaningless because your life is now, your present moment, and you need to focus on it.
As such, they bring up emotions. It is important that we realise this in order to decide and be responsible for our state.
To remain in suffering is to become attached to the pain. And that pain often comes from recreating ourselves in memories.
So, in my experience, the 3 most important keys that have helped me are
- In what could have been and was not
- In what he told us he hurt us
- On why to me
- In ..." there was a time when we were happy"
- Whether or not I can avoid the end of the relationship.
- On what I did or didn't do
- In the unfairness of life
So, in my experience, the 3 most important keys that have helped me are
Acceptance. I can not change the past, but I can change what I am living now and what I want to build for my future. I am the one who chooses to leave behind a stage of life with what is good and what I know causes me pain to remember. And in this way, without reproach, without judgment, without guilt, I do a conscious exercise of forgiveness, of letting go and healing and leaving behind to start my present and future life projects.
Learning. I have come into this world to learn from all that I have experienced, good and bad. Even though I live through difficult, negative, sad, and painful situations, all of this is a learning experience. My memories are just that, memories, and judging them as good or bad only depends on me. I perceive my reality according to my mind and my beliefs. If my memories are my life's teachings, I can build my new self from there, with more maturity and meaning in my life.
Forgive. How important it is letting go of the anger, the pain, the frustration, the guilt. To let it go, to feel the peace of our hearts, from the love that we are. The exercise of forgiveness is a form of liberation. It is decided to move forward without that heavy backpack of judgments, reproaches,...
By forgiving and, above all, forgiving yourself, you free yourself, you heal yourself, you decide to be free and you move forward.
A practice that can help you
nOne of the simplest and most useful resources is writing. There is something deeply therapeutic about writing, and we can bring out all the negative things in our minds by writing. Write automatically, everything you can think of. Don't stop to think and let the letters flow on the paper. You will find that when you finish writing, you will feel better.Affirmations that raise my energy and help me be happy after a break:nergyand help me to be happy after a break:
- How much I have learned from everything I have experienced!
- My life is now and I focus on what I want to do with it and what I am passionate about.
- My life is a gift that I can and I don't allow myself to waste it.
- I have projects, illusions, dreams, objectives, much to thank life for.
- My life is not only "IF I HAVE OR NOT" My life is me and I am much bigger than anything or anyone I have at my side.
- My life is not only when I AM HAPPY, but also when I am sad and I accept myself, allowing me to BE with my lights and my shadows.
- I feel happiness within me even when I am sad because I am at peace and in balance.
- I want to discover everything new that is to come
- I trust that life will sustain me
- I accept my break-up as a stage in my life, like many others.
- After each end there is a new beginning.
